A new YMCA opened up down the street last year, and today JR, RSJ & I signed up. We start tomorrow at 7 on the bikes and then a quick water walk before going to the office.
This is going to mean a complete change in schedule too! No more staying up until 5 or 6 a.m. I am going to have to finish writing earlier and get to bed!
After being in Asia and seeing pictures of myself that looked like I felt, all fat rolls and floppiness (somehow I had been able to keep that vision out of my eyes), I knew it was time to take action.
Interestingly, I happened to listen to a Focus On The Family broadcast with Chantel Hobbs, author of "Never Say Diet". She talks about the five decisions she made which helped her lose more than 200 pounds and achieve a healthy lifestyle. The thing that stood out most to me was she said she hadn't been ready to do the work of losing the weight until she was motivated one Super Bowl Sunday.
That is what I have been waiting for. I have lost weight before, and watched hundreds of other people do it too - just to put it back with interest! I did not want to fail and end up bigger than I started out! So I have been preparing for about 4 years now by getting other parts of my life in order.
I have been trying to understand the fear in me that makes me want to hide myself from "the outside world" and cocoon myself away. I don't know that I am really that much closer to understanding where this fear came from, but I am ready to face those fears and tackle them.
What has been so frustrating is that I always saw myself as big and fat in my head - like a big black mama with white skin - because the genes were there and I could see myself in other family members. But I used to be a very skinny person then - smaller than my daughters who are like models! The irony of it! I actually got to almost twice my size before I could see it when it finally did happen, and now there is a lot of work to do to reclaim myself.
So wish me luck, but better still, please pray for me to fall more in love with Jesus and KNOW HIS LOVE for me. Perfect love casts out fear, and I am counting on the fat going with the fear!
Good Night
By Holly M. Roddam
The Sun winks goodnight
Behind the edge of the world
See you at daybreak
© Nov 11, 2003
1 comment:
Hi Holly, thanks for your post. becoming slimmer is really a battle isn't it?. I started my own jouney in late Oct after 43 years of struggle with my weight. I had come to the end of myself and through God's wonderful plan I was am working with a Christian Hypnotherapist who combines prayer and hypnosis to help tranform negative thought to positive and deal with the baggage that has accumulated over the years. I eat normal food, it is all about portion control andlots of water. . So far so good. I am down almost 10 pounds and have a ton of energy which is good at this busy time of the year. I don't have a trainer, but I do Wii and lots of walking. I found the scripures below to meditate on during this process and here they are:
Psalm 107:9: "For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good."
Isaiah 40:31: "Those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."
Romans 14:17: "...for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit."
2 Corinthians 5:17: "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
Philippians 1:6: "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
Hebrews 12:11: "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."
3 John 1:2: "Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers."
I look forward to hearing of your progress and wish you an extra measure of faith for the journey,
Tanya
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